How to respond to YourCrew check-ins
We’ve all heard the message: If you’re feeling down or anxious, reach out. Talk to a friend, a family member, your GP, or call an organisation like Lifeline, Beyond Blue or Kids Helpline.
The problem is that for many young people, that advice often doesn’t always turn into action. Instead, when life gets tough, it’s often easier to retreat to Social Media, gaming or TV rather than reaching out for real support.
We created YourCrew to change that – to make it easier for young people to connect when they need support. It’s a simple platform where they can reach out to their trusted, non-judgmental Crew, access professional help at the touch of a button, use many of the wellbeing resources provided, or simply check in. The colour-coded emoji calendar and extreme alert function show how they’re tracking, helping Crew know when to reach out and offer support.
If you’ve been asked to be in someone’s Crew, congratulations! It means they trust you. Most of the time, being in a Crew simply means keeping in touch through small moments — emoji check-ins, responding with quick reactions or prompts, or short messages. These regular updates help you stay connected and aware of how they’re going.
But when you do get an alert that someone in your Crew needs support, your response can make a real difference. The goal is to respond promptly, calmly, and with care — but remember, being someone’s Crew should never feel burdensome or overwhelming. You’re not expected to fix everything. Your role is to support them and help them connect with the right help as soon as possible.
Being part of someone’s Crew means you’re one of their trusted first responders, not their long-term therapist.
Your role as Crew: listen, support, take action
It’s natural to feel stressed or scared that you’ll say the wrong thing, so let’s break down the process of responding to an alert or extreme check-in, into three simple, manageable steps:
Listen, Support, and Take Action.
Listen
Give them the floor: Often, having someone really listen helps them start finding their own solutions or recognise the need to speak to a professional.
Validate their feelings: You don’t have to agree with everything, but try to put yourself in their shoes and understand how it feels for them. Let them speak without interruption. Reflect back on what they have said without offering your judgment.
Example: “That sounds like a really hard thing to go through…”
Example: “I understand why that would make you feel this way.”
Support
Communicate you are there: Clearly let them know you are ready to help them find the support they need.
Example: “I can help you talk to someone about this, let’s go and talk to…”
Example: “Would you like me to come with you to speak with your parents?”
Example: “I’m here for you.”
Give praise: Acknowledge their strength and trust.
Example: “That was really brave of you to tell me about…”
Example: “I’m honoured you felt you could share this with me.”
Show trust and involve them: Show that you trust them to think things through by asking how they want to handle things.
Example: “I get why that would upset you. What could you do next time to stop it from getting to that point?”
Example: “What might help you feel more in control if this happens again?”
Example: “Who do you think is the best person to help us with this?”
Take Action
Offer practical help: This could mean actively helping with a small, practical problem, calling a professional service, or connecting them with an adult.
Try: “I can help you get the help you need, let’s go and talk to…”
Try: “Do you want me to help you talk to your parents?”
Suggest professional help: If you feel uncomfortable with the topic or know it needs professional help, tell them gently:
“This is bigger than both of us, I think we need to make an appointment with your [GP, psychologist, school counsellor or other professional].”
If you are under 18 years old, remember you can also ask an adult or someone in your own Crew to help you support your friend.
If you’re not sure what type of help is needed, the YourCrew: Pathways to Help can guide you to the right support options — from trusted adults and school counsellors to professional services.
Do not keep a secret: if you think they are at risk of harming themselves or someone else, or if the situation makes you feel extremely uncomfortable, it’s always okay, and often necessary, to reach out to an adult or professional for guidance and safety.
Setting boundaries & taking care of yourself
It is important to remember it is not always easy to support someone, and sometimes it can trigger tough emotions in you, so make sure you look after yourself first. Make sure you have a good support network around you, set up your own Crew and talk to them if you need support.
You are not a professional or therapist — you are a trusted friend doing your best to help them get to the right support. Your job isn’t to fix everything; it’s to listen, care, and help guide them toward help when they need it.
If a person you are Crewing for makes you feel uncomfortable, overwhelmed or stressed at any point, or contacts you repeatedly day and night, it is time to set some boundaries. This could mean by suggesting the times and days you are available to connect, or by guiding them to other help resources and professional help. You can also talk to your Crew, parents, a teacher, or another trusted adult and ask them to help you escalate the situation to the right people. If you’re really worried, encourage your friend to call Kids Helpline (1800 55 1800). If you ever think they are in danger, call 000.
If you need to step back entirely, YourCrew provides in-app editable templates that communicate with them in a respectful way that you are stepping down. If you see them in person, a gesture like a hug and saying something like, “I’m sorry I had to leave your Crew, but I don’t have the bandwidth to Crew for anyone right now. I still care about you,” can help keep things kind and clear.
Being part of someone’s Crew is a powerful way to show you care, but you never need to do it alone. By focusing on the three steps — Listen, Support, and Take Action — you become the bridge that connects a friend to real help.
We all share things with each other, but YourCrew gives you the tools to know what to say, what to do, and where to go when someone needs help. That’s a powerful thing — and it’s how real change begins.
For more information and resources on how to Crew for someone, visit the YourCrew A-Z Guide and Pathways to Help.
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